Teacher’s Gonna Show You, How to Get an A

Five months. I’ve been gone for five months. I left home and sadly the blogasphere simultaneously. Let’s review where I’ve been :

I’ve been everywhere, man.
I’ve been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert’s bare, man.
I’ve breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I’ve had my share, man.
I’ve been everywhere.

June 22-28 Roaming the streets of Foggy Bottom, Attending classes at George Washington University, Dining with benefactors in Bethesda, riding the (underground) rails, apartment hunting to no avail, starving–gluten free does not mean salad, especially not salad with croutons, squashed by humidity.

June 29-August 1 At LAX with no one to pick me up from the airport, realizing that some of my travel companions have zero grasp on reality–a limo, really?, Arriving at Loyola Marymount University–home for the next 5 weeks, freezing my butt off everyday on a mountain yet tanning to Hershey’s chocolate, teaching a classroom full of Mexican teens who “don’t like black people”–challenging yes. impossible no, forming “friendships” that didn’t last beyond the tarmac, networking with folks I may know for life, Questioning, meeting up with friends from back home–highlight, riding the “Cool Bus” every morning with red TFA lunch pails and cold burritos, dancing with my roommate to blow off steam, avoiding the swine flu, watching planes fly past my classroom in Inglewood, loving Animo and hating the experience of not sleeping and missing the copier by 5 minutes, knowing my best often isn’t good enough, experiencing the joy of a student receiving his first high school A as a junior, lesson planning at 2AM on the roof with Duke, Coltrane and Miles, to church for the first time in a long time–sobbing on a pew, able to cry for the first time in a long time.

August 1-Present
Living out of a suitcase, making mistakes, getting the run around, Leasing an apartment in Largo and leaving an apartment in Largo, getting to know my father—-> understanding why my parents shouldn’t have gotten married—->understanding why I attract the men that I do and how to fix that, meeting my kids in D.C., missing my kids in L.A., finally having the “ghetto” high school experience, lamenting that “ghetto” is synonymous with “racist and classicist zoning policies” thus reaffirming why I didn’t want to in the first place and why no one should have to (have that experience), wondering if it is environmental or chemical, pushing into classrooms, pulling out of classrooms, hiding in my office tying to get those IEPs done, wondering who gets priority, spending hours on the train, to Grad school–all five hours after work, to  the school for the deaf, to the school of hard knocks, at the receiving end of blatant sexual harassment, at the saving end of a RIF, keeping to myself yet reaching out, under suspicion, under my father’s  roof (sorta) for the first time at age 24, trying to escape said roof, questioning and re-questioning, trying…to prove to others I want to be here…to myself the same, sick and tired–literally, up, down, in God’s palm.

I’ve been everywhere.

“ABC, it’s easy as 123…”

RIP. MJJ

UNNATURAL CAUSES . Video | PBS

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What I know for Sure

So, here’s what I know right now for sure:

• This is long over due, but so are most good things…like summer.
• Summer is on hiatus in the Midwest.
• I am one of the strongest people I know. Period. Not bragging, merely stating a fact.
• Everyone who says they’re a friend is NOT a friend. Some people who are “close to you” like to see you hurt; and they like to see you fail.
• When opportunity knocks, you must slowly yet surely answer the door. Don’t crack it.
• I have gained back all of the weight that I lost thanks to transitional stress.
• Clutter is the devil.
• Carbs are also devil-ish.
• My tolerance is low for users.
• Nothing beats green tea in the morning.
• I have committed two years of my life to someone else. Never thought that would happen.
• I’m moving. Away from everything/everyone I know and heart/love/care about.
• I need a better coping mechanism.
• I have fewer friends than I thought, but that’s actually a great thing. Quality vs. Quantity.
• Life is better when you focus on who showed up instead of who didn’t bother to RSVP.
• Nothing’s worse than family that doesn’t follow through. Twice as rough as friends who drop the ball.
• I’m smart! Probably a frustrated genius.
• While I used to hurt myself because people hurt me, I’ve learned to hurt back. Not the best strategy…but it works for me now.
• Prune juice cures all.
• My afro is O.C.
• I want to do real work. Not the corporate America shit.
• Michelle Obama is one of the coolest women on the planet. She makes my top ten. I am going to meet her before I leave D.C.
• I’ll never understand how people who are Christian and pro-life think that terrorizing and killing people who do not agree with their philosophies is Christian (behavior) and pro-life. It’s terrorism and murder.
• 2 + 2 = 4
• I never wanted to be popular. I feel bad for popular people.
• Doing dishes sucks.
• America is determined to define it’s subtle caste system. Education will continue to play a major role in this.
• Justice for all some. That’s how “we” govern.
• I’m going to miss organizing for the next two years.
• Nothing is done in vain, yet most of this is vanity. Go fig.
• Apple a day doesn’t keep the doc away. But it will keep your colon open.
• Someday I will plant that garden and live off of the land as my ancestors did.
• It is good to learn something new every day.
• I probably won’t update this for a VERY long time.
• 43 things will be my next social networking obsession. If I told you it would be Linkedin, I lied.
• Sorry, lies happen.

Advice: Leaving the Nest

So, I got this email yesterday asking me to move across the country and start a new life. And honestly there’s a huge amount of fear involved. But I don’t fear things that folks in the quaterlife would typically fear.

Packin' it all away?

I don’t want to get into detail, but I would like to share this one piece of advice I received this evening:

“the best gift/compliment you can give your mom is to be out in the world being a good human being making a difference

and you wont be moving to alaska

it is a weekend trip

so you will be able to come home and see her

often

I go home like once a month”

My goal is to make this decision before I got to bed tomorrow night. It’s not like they’ve given me past Thursday anyway…

Let’s Have a Tea Par-tay!

 

I can take today’s “grassroots” tea party as seriously as the one in the music video.

I’m never opposed to protesting. It’s the people’s government, no? My biggest question involves motive. Americans weren’t protesting when we were funding “democracy” in Iraq. Wait, Americans were protesting, just not this particular cohort of Americans. Perhaps this is due to the anticipated monetary gain America stood to make in the “Arab World.”  

I’m not going to get into why the “Tea Parties” upset me. However, I would have respected the campaign specifically in Chicago if they were protesting with a purpose. I can read between the lines on picket signs. “Let’s increase the work ethic and decrease government.”  No, I’m not pro big government; but I’m smart enough to know that “trickle down” econ doesn’t work. And I’m also aware of whose work ethic should increase.

If protesters in Chicago (or any urban areas really) were protesting the usage of tax dollars to pay the salaries of public officials who allow their schools to fail, or even funding the police officers (one in particular) who kill innocent victims while driving drunk, I might have picked up a sign.

Those people weren’t upset about corporate bailouts, because their friends work for those corporations. And the hardworking people who should be upset weren’t because they know this is not their fight. We are Working Class America.  This has never been our fight.

My lifestyle hasn’t changed since the great tumble. So maybe that’s why I didn’t grab a sign. As long as chaos doesn’t errupt from the homes of suburbia due to the inability to have one additional Nintendo Wii game, I’m content. The markets are in an upward trend, so something is working.

 For more coherent commentary, and the possible motive for the “tea parties” check out the folks at Jack and Jill.

Saturday Night Live – White Like Me

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

 

I’m trying not to be terribly political with my blog this time around. Enjoy this vintage, lighthearted, satirical piece on racism in the good ole U.S. of A.

If you desire something heavy to ponder, check out Interracial Spectacle: Thoughts on Power Dynamics, or the edgy post    from whence I nabbed this viral nugget.

“When your life falls off da track…”

I think my childhood [that I desperately tried to revive and reclaim] finally died a horrible death today. It was kinda over due anyway.

Although I was admitted to my PhD program at University of Illinois, I’ve decided to not go. My department did not provide any funding.  And to top it all off, my adviser informed me, of the misinformation regarding the “pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.” OK great. I suppose I’m back where I started.

This morning my father called and told me that I need to move to Virginia and get a real job with benefits. OK, fine. That was my very last option anyway. But I started looking at other graduate programs last night; and the excitement within me started growing. The idea of starting a masters program this fall kept me awake for a few hours. My mind was running at full throttle… and then to be told to get a real job. Imagine my disappointment.

A couple of hours later, my mom sent me a job description for a social work gig. It pays well. Has benefits. Great. I thought maybe I could take classes at night and work during the day. No. The classes I would need are only offered during the day. And that’s when it hit me…

Crushed.

So the options came down to 1) Going to school, and pursuing my dreams; but living without a paycheck and health insurance or 2) doing paperwork all day so I can buy a car and go to the doctor.

Is this what living in America is all about, doing something you don’t want to do so you can make ends meet? I don’t want to be a social worker. I would only do the job for the cash and the insurance. That’s what it boils down to. And I bet there are plenty of people whose dreams are rotting in hell because they want health insurance and basic transportation (maybe a house or even FOOD). I’m not a socialist or a communist; but this capitalist shit makes no sense. 

American dream, or capitalist nightmare?

Childhood is officially over. The innocence is gone.

Where is this accessible health care we’ve been waiting for?

I can either pursue my dreams or have health insurance. Great options.

Happiness or survival.

In the words of  Black Sheep “The Choice is Yours.”